Thursday, July 30, 2009 @10:58 PM
Draft 3 & 4
The clouds formed a big cauliflower; the forest looked like it was wearing an ominous cap of cloud. Loud thunder boomed in the distance, lightning cracked. There was an explosion of light and head-numbing noise, Kumar started counting the lightning strikes to distract his mind from the cold, pain and terror.
The second storm exploded on them in a chaos of wind, water and noise. Spray started seeping in and both of them would soon be saturate. They were in a forest covered with rainforest trees. Then, there was an earsplitting crack; the air was filled with screams, some by the boys, and some from the villages. The lightning strike and then blackness followed by a distant thunder.
Finally, it settled down, but there was rain. Surya was shivering badly and drops of sweat were dripping down by both side of his face. Kumar gave the face of flustered look to his brother, and Surya gave him his.
The Sinhalese are attacking their village Botticaloa to revenge for the riots which the Tamil Tigers had caused. Surya’s village’s was not targeted first, which allowed them to make preparations and escape further from the attacked area. Both of Surya and Kumar parent were involved in the riots. Their father was involved in the riot and was defending the village. Their mother however, was getting ready all items that are necessary and after passing the fully loaded bag pack for Surya, she followed her husband and went to defend with him.
“Surya, you have to take on the responsibility of an older brother from now on, you must protect your younger brother no matter what happens. Please, take care of yourselves and live,” those were the last words the heard from their mother.
Remembering what his mother had told him, Surya ran behind all the other teenagers with Kumar in hand. He was only a sixteen-years-old teenager with a nine-years-old youngster. Although he was weak, he strived on for his little brother.
Surya had hid refuge in a village up north in Sri Lanka with his brother and other survivals of his village over a year. The government had changed the university admission criteria drastically and many of the Tamils were greatly affected. The government increased the minimum marks for Tamils to get into university. Surya worked hard to gain a position in the Engineering course. His hard work paid off when he got into the course with 278 marks.
Although Surya had gave up the revenge for the Sinhalese who had attacked his village a year ago, his brother Kumar had not given it up. Kumar knew his brother will no allow him to join the LTTE. Thus, he had decided to take up arms secretly. Even though he was ten, the LTTE was glad to have another ‘comrade’. Kumar learned all the skills of self-defense and later was trained as a sacrifice bomber.
Surya was nineteen and Kumar was twelve. Despite the fact that Kumar was in the LTTE, and was always on missions around the refuge, Surya was completely clueless about it. It was not until one night, when Surya found Kumar out of the bunk. He hesitated and quickly went to look for him with a torchlight that flickered on and off. The LTTE had actually deployed Kumar to the front line to fight against the Sinhalese who was heading towards Jaffna. Kumar, knowing he might not survive, made an attempt to leave something behind for Jaffna. That night, Jaffna returned to the refugee and found one letter in his bunk.
My dear brother,
I am leaving to fight in the war. Please do not follow…
Take good care of yourself and live.
Kumar
Surya collapsed and sat on his bunk for the next few hours, thinking about his family members and their words. Tears streamed down his face… he picked himself up… and started running towards southern Jaffna. It was all too late when he arrived. Kumar was running towards the enemy and the next second, a boom was heard across the land. Surya walked back three steps… fell to the floor… and cowered within his hands.
In life, we will experience misery and agony. Yet, some things will just pull us up and keep pushing us on. Surya was torn apart by the loss of his parents and his only brother. Both his parents and his brother had told him to continue living and to keep himself safe. He knew this agony will be kept bottled up in him for life, but he knew that his family wants to move on. Four years later, Surya emerged as the top pupil of the university.
( 777 words )
Sunday, July 26, 2009 @3:45 PM
Draft 2 : Introduction
The clouds formed a big cauliflower; the forest looks like it was wearing an ominous cap of cloud. Loud thunder boomed in the distance, lightning cracked. Suddenly, the storm was on them. Surya and Kumar were all soak and exhausted from the climb. There was an explosion of light and head-numbing noise, Kumar started counting the lightning strikes to distract his mind from the cold, pain and terror.
The second storm exploded on them in a chaos of wind, water and noise. Spray started seeping in and both of them would soon be saturate. They were in the forest covered with rainforest trees. Then, there was an earsplitting crack; the air was filled with screams, some by the boys, and some from the villages. The lightning strike and then blackness followed by a distant thunder.
Finally, it settled down, but there was a time of ten minutes that there was only rain. Surya was shivering badly and drops of sweat were dripping down by both side of his face. Kumar gave the face of flustered look to his brother and Surya gave him his.
( 184 words )
Monday, July 13, 2009 @8:27 AM
Draft 1
The clouds formed a big cauliflower; the forest looks like it was wearing an ominous cap of cloud. Loud thunder boomed in the distance, lightning cracked. Suddenly, the storm was on them. Surya and Kumar were all soak and exhausted from the climb. There was an explosion of light and head-numbing noise, Kumar started counting the lightning strikes to distract his mind from the cold, pain and terror.
The second storm exploded on them in a chaos of wind, water and noise. Spray started seeping in and both of them would soon be saturate. They were in the forest covered with rainforest trees. Then, there was an earsplitting crack; the air was filled with screams, some by the boys, and some from the villages. The lightning strike and then blackness followed by a distant thunder.
Finally, it settled down, but there was a time of ten minutes that there was only rain. Surya was shivering badly and drops of sweat were dripping down by the side of his face. Kumar gave the face of flustered look to his brother and he gave him his.
The Singhalese are attacking their village Botticaloa to revenge for the riots which the Tamil Tigers had caused. Surya's village's was not targeted first, which allowed them to make preparations and escape further from the attacked area. Both of Surya’s and Kumar parents were involved in the riot. Their father was involved in the riot and was defending the village. Their mother however, was getting ready all items that are necessary and after passing the fully loaded bag pack for Surya, she followed her husband and went to defend with him.
“Surya, you have to take on the responsibility of an older brother from now on, you must protect your younger brother no matter what happens. Please, take care of yourselves and live,” those were the last words they heard from their mother.
Remembering what his mother had told him, Surya ran behind all the other teenagers with Kumar in hand. He was only a sixteen-years-old teenager with a nine-years-old youngster. To make things worse, he was down for fever and to only recover the day before, which made him very weak on the day of departure. Although he was weak, he strived on for his little brother.
Upon reaching the age of seventeen, every teenage of the family was made compulsory to attend University. Surya had hid refuge in a village up north in Sri Lanka with his brother and other survivals of his village over a year. He was turning seventeen in a few weeks time. Recently, the government had changed the university admission criteria drastically and many of the Tamils were greatly affected. The government increased the minimum marks needed for most subjects for the Tamils and this had agitated the students who were taking the courses. Surya wanted to join the Tamil Tigers to turn against the government and bring justice to his race. Yet, when he saw Kumar again that afternoon, his mother’s words rang through his mind. ‘…you must protect your younger brother no matter what happens,’ recalling her words, Surya dropped the idea and worked hard to gain a position in the Engineering course. His hard work paid off when he got into the course with 278 marks.
Although Surya had gave up the revenge for the Sinhalese who had attacked his village a year ago, his brother Kumar had not given it up. Kumar knew his brother will not allow him to join the LTTE. Thus, he had decided to take up arms secretly. Even though he was ten, the LTTE was glad to have another ‘comrade’. They were even more surprise when Kumar learned all the skills of self-defense and later was trained as a sacrifice bomber. All this period of time, Surya was concentrating on his studies and had somehow cared less about Kumar than he normally does.
Surya was nineteen and Kumar was twelve. Despite the fact that Kumar was in the LTTE, and was always on missions around the refuge, Surya was completely clueless about it. It was not until one night, when Surya found Kumar out of the bunk. He hesitated and quickly went to look for him with a torchlight that flickered on and off. The LTTE had actually deployed Kumar to the front line to fight against the Sinhalese who was heading towards Jaffna. Kumar, knowing he might not survive, made an attempt to leave something behind for Jaffna. That night, Jaffna returned to the refugee and found one letter in his bunk.
“My dear brother, I am leaving to fight in the war. Please do not follow… Take good care of yourself and live, Kumar.”
Surya collapsed and sat on his bunk for the next few hours, thinking about his family members and their words. Tears streamed down his face… he picked himself up… and started running to southern Jaffna. It was all too late when he arrived.
( 829 words )